Reverse Kegels: how to relax your pelvic floor
Strength gets all the attention. But for many men, learning to let go is the missing half of pelvic floor health.
Most advice about the pelvic floor is about strengthening it: squeeze, hold, repeat. That's useful. But for many men, the problem isn't a weak pelvic floor — it's a pelvic floor that's too tight and never fully lets go. Reverse Kegels are the exercise that teaches those muscles to relax.
This guide explains what a reverse Kegel is, why pelvic floor relaxation matters for sexual health, urinary comfort and bowel function, and exactly how to practise it. If you're new to the pelvic floor entirely, start with our guide to Kegel exercises for men, then come back here.
What is the pelvic floor?
The pelvic floor is a hammock of muscles that stretches from the pubic bone at the front to the tailbone at the back. In men it supports the bladder and bowel, helps control urination and bowel movements, and plays a direct role in erections and ejaculation.
Like any muscle, it needs to do two things well: contract when needed and relax fully afterwards. A standard Kegel trains the contraction. A reverse Kegel trains the release.
What is a reverse Kegel?
A reverse Kegel is a gentle, deliberate relaxation and lengthening of the pelvic floor muscles. Instead of lifting and squeezing inward, you allow the area between the scrotum and anus to soften and drop slightly downward.
A useful comparison: a Kegel is the movement you'd make to stop yourself passing wind. A reverse Kegel is the feeling of letting go at the start of urinating — a gentle release, not a push. It is not straining or bearing down hard.
Why pelvic floor relaxation matters
Many men hold chronic tension in the pelvic floor without realising it. Stress, anxiety, long hours of sitting, heavy lifting with breath-holding, and habits like "sucking in" the stomach can all keep these muscles switched on. Physiotherapists sometimes call this an overactive or hypertonic pelvic floor.
A pelvic floor that can't relax can contribute to:
- Premature ejaculation. Tension in the pelvic floor can lower the threshold for the ejaculatory reflex. Learning to relax these muscles during arousal is a core part of many PE programmes. See our start-stop technique guide for how to combine the two.
- Pain. Aching in the perineum, testicles, penis, lower abdomen or tailbone, or pain during or after ejaculation. Pelvic floor tension is a recognised contributor to chronic pelvic pain syndrome in men (sometimes diagnosed as chronic prostatitis).
- Urinary symptoms. A hesitant or weak stream, a feeling of not emptying completely, or needing to go frequently.
- Bowel issues. Straining, constipation, or a sense of incomplete emptying.
- Erection difficulties. In some men, chronic tension and the discomfort it causes can interfere with arousal and erections.
It's also why doing lots of standard Kegels isn't right for everyone. If your pelvic floor is already tight, more squeezing can make symptoms worse. Relaxation comes first.
Perineal or genital aching, especially after sitting; discomfort during or after ejaculation; a slow-to-start urine stream; constipation; clenching your buttocks or jaw without noticing. These symptoms have many possible causes, so get them checked — but they're worth mentioning to your doctor or a pelvic health physiotherapist.
How to do a reverse Kegel, step by step
- Get comfortable. Lie on your back with your knees bent and feet flat, or with your legs supported on pillows. Once you've learned it, you can practise sitting or standing.
- Start with your breath. Place one hand on your belly. Breathe in slowly through your nose so your belly — not your chest — rises. This is diaphragmatic breathing, and it's the engine of the reverse Kegel.
- Notice the pelvic floor on the in-breath. As your diaphragm moves down on the inhale, the pelvic floor naturally moves down too. Bring your attention to the area between your scrotum and anus and let it soften and gently drop with the breath.
- Add a gentle, conscious release. Keeping the effort light — around 20–30% effort at most — imagine the sitting bones widening and the perineum lengthening. Think "letting go", not "pushing out".
- Keep everything else soft. Glutes, thighs, stomach and jaw should stay relaxed. If you notice yourself holding your breath or tensing, you're working too hard.
- Exhale and let the floor return. As you breathe out slowly, allow the pelvic floor to rise back naturally to its resting position — no need to squeeze.
- Repeat for 8–10 slow breaths.
Aim for one or two short sessions a day — five minutes is enough. Consistency matters much more than duration.
Positions that make relaxation easier
Some positions naturally open and relax the pelvic floor, which can help you feel the movement:
- Child's pose: kneeling with your hips back towards your heels and your chest lowered towards the floor. Breathe into your back and pelvis.
- Happy baby: lying on your back, knees drawn towards your armpits, holding your feet or shins.
- Supported deep squat: sitting back into a deep squat while holding onto something stable, heels on a folded towel if needed.
Breathe slowly in each position for a minute or two, letting the pelvic floor drop on every inhale. Skip any position that causes pain.
Using reverse Kegels during sex
Once relaxation feels familiar, you can use it during intimacy. As arousal builds, men with PE often tense their pelvic floor unconsciously — which can speed up ejaculation. Checking in with your breath and letting the pelvic floor soften can help keep arousal steady.
Practise this during solo sessions first, alongside the start-stop technique, before trying it with a partner. It's a skill, and it gets easier with repetition.
Balancing Kegels and reverse Kegels
A healthy pelvic floor is both strong and flexible. For most men, a balanced routine includes both:
- If you have symptoms of tension (pain, hesitancy, PE with a tense feeling), focus on reverse Kegels and breathing first, and introduce standard Kegels later — ideally with guidance.
- If you have symptoms of weakness (leaking after urinating, recovery after prostate surgery, mild ED), standard Kegels are often the priority — but always finish each contraction with a full release.
A good rule of thumb: every squeeze should be followed by a relaxation at least as long as the squeeze.
Common mistakes
- Pushing too hard. Straining like you're forcing a bowel movement isn't the goal and can aggravate haemorrhoids or hernias. Keep it gentle.
- Holding your breath. The movement is tied to the breath. If you're holding it, start again with slow belly breathing.
- Tensing other muscles. Clenching your glutes or abs means you're recruiting the wrong muscles.
- Expecting instant results. Changing long-standing muscle habits usually takes several weeks of regular practice.
When to see a doctor
See a doctor if you have:
- Persistent pelvic, genital, testicular or perineal pain.
- Pain during or after ejaculation, or blood in your urine or semen.
- Difficulty passing urine, a very weak stream, or needing to go urgently or frequently — especially if it's new.
- Fever with urinary symptoms, which can indicate infection and needs prompt treatment.
- A hernia, haemorrhoids, or recent pelvic or abdominal surgery — ask before starting pelvic floor exercises.
A doctor can rule out infection, prostate problems and other causes, and may refer you to a pelvic health physiotherapist. These specialists can assess your pelvic floor directly and tailor a programme — often the fastest route to relief if tension is the problem.
This article is for general education and is not a substitute for assessment by a doctor or pelvic health physiotherapist.
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Frequently asked questions
What is a reverse Kegel?
A gentle, deliberate relaxation and lengthening of the pelvic floor muscles, usually timed with a slow diaphragmatic in-breath. It feels like the release at the start of urinating — not straining or pushing hard.
Do reverse Kegels help premature ejaculation?
Pelvic floor tension can lower the threshold for ejaculation, and learning to relax these muscles during arousal is part of many PE programmes, often combined with the start-stop technique.
Should men do Kegels or reverse Kegels?
Most men benefit from both. If you have signs of tension, such as pelvic pain or urinary hesitancy, focus on relaxation first. Every contraction should be followed by a full release.
How often should I do reverse Kegels?
One or two short sessions a day of around five minutes, or 8–10 slow breaths, is a common starting point. Consistency matters more than duration.
Bø K. et al., Evidence-Based Physical Therapy for the Pelvic Floor (2015) · Faubion S.S. et al., "Recognizing and managing pelvic floor dysfunction", Mayo Clinic Proceedings (2012) · Dorey G. et al., BJU International (2005) · Cleveland Clinic · Mayo Clinic · NHS · American Urological Association.